THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN & COMMITMENT

Why is a man more willing to commit to a 30-year mortgage than a one-year relationship? In this episode of Uncharted, we dig into the uncomfortable truth about commitment, vulnerability, and emotional risk. We explore what Brené Brown has to say about why love scares us more than debt, break down the Scarface Paradox (money, power, women), and uncover how men and women emotionally invest so differently when it comes to love vs. money.

You’ll also hear why trading and relationships are more alike than you think—and what “effort” in love really looks like. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why won’t he just commit?”—this one’s for you.

Press play, and prepare to rethink everything you thought you knew about love and loyalty.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode of Uncharted

1. Why people commit to a 30-year mortgage but struggle with a one-year relationship

 • The psychology behind emotional risk vs. financial risk

 • Why love feels unsafe—even when it’s what we want most

2. The role of vulnerability in modern relationships

 • How Brené Brown defines vulnerability and why it’s the key to real connection

 • Why most people avoid it at all costs—and how that impacts commitment

3. The Scarface Paradox: Money, Power, and Love

 • What Tony Montana got right about the male mindset

 • Why success can actually make emotional connection harder for men

4. Men vs. Women: How we emotionally invest differently

 • Why men are emotional about money, and women about love

 • What each gender needs to feel safe enough to commit

5. Relationships vs. Trading: The surprising parallels

 • How emotional discipline in trading mirrors emotional discipline in love

 • Why women often outperform men in both markets—and relationships

6. What effort in love really looks like

 • Why it’s not about grand gestures, but the daily emotional choices

 • The difference between “saying you love someone” and actually showing up for them

7. How to stop avoiding love like it’s a liability

 • The truth about commitment, control, and connection

 • How to reframe your mindset to invest in relationships the way you invest in stability

FIND LISA N EDWARDS & MORE:
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/LisaNEdwards
Lisa's Website: https://lisanedwards.com/
Getting Started In Crypto: https://gettingstartedincrypto.com/paid-signals/ref/2001/?campaign=Podcast

Transcript

Welcome to Uncharted, the podcast that rips the map right out of your hands and forces you to think differently about money, crypto, psychology and success. I'm Lisa Ann Edwards, a crypto trader, investor and entrepreneur with over twenty five years in traditional markets with five multimillion dollar businesses under my belt.

I've navigated bull runs, crashes, scams, pumps and dumps, and I'm here to give you the brutal truth about building wealth in a world that never stops changing. But that's not all. Before crypto, I lived in a world where money isn't real, Hollywood. Well, the Australian version. And as a former talent agent and now writer and film producer, I've seen firsthand how power and influence and manipulation shape the way we think about success.

The game is rigged, but only if you play by their rules. And in this show, we'll go deep into the psychology of money, expose how the system really works and give you the tools to build your own wealth. And because life isn't just about numbers, we'll take a few detours into travel, luxury and hacking the system to live on your terms. So if you're ready to break free from financial lies, trading myths and mindsets that keep you broke, you're in the right place. This is Uncharted.

Let's get started. Uncharted. Let's go. So let's talk about why someone might commit to a thirty year mortgage without hesitation, but can't commit to a one year relationship. Like, think about that for a second.

You'll sign your life away to the bank, tie yourself up to monthly payments for three decades, and somehow that feels safer than saying, yeah, let's see how this relationship goes. Because my love is unpredictable, but a mortgage that comes with a contract, fixed interest rate, if you take that, clear expectations, no emotional risk, no heartbreak, just a set of numbers and a house that won't wake up one day and decide it's not feeling the same way anymore. So today, we're getting into that and we'll try and remember everything here, why people fear love and why long term debt is so accessible. So Brene Brown's take on vulnerability and why commitment feels so risky is how trading relationships have more in common than you think, especially when it comes to men versus women. So the Scarface Paradox is why so many men chase money and power first and only struggle with real connection later.

And after the real reason, effort matters in love just as much as strategy matters in trading. So, tell me, are you in it for the quick wins or are you playing the long game? So, let's dive straight into this. He'll commit to a thirty year mortgage, but not you. So what is commitment?

Commitment is the act of making a conscious choice and following through even when it's not easy, exciting or convenient. Whether it's in relationships, business or finances, true commitment isn't just about words or intentions, it's about consistent action over time. But here's a paradox. People will commit to a thirty year mortgage without hesitation, a seven year car loan and struggle to commit to a one year relationship. Why?

Because commitment in love requires emotional risk. So while commitment in a mortgage is tangible, you know exactly what you're signing up for. In contrast, relationships are unpredictable, require effort and force us to be vulnerable. So let's talk Brene Brown and the power of vulnerability. She has one of my favorite TED talks.

So and if you've ever looked into psychology, you probably come across Brene Brown. So seriously go and watch her TED talk on vulnerability if you haven't already seen it. So she's one of the leading voices on human connection and explains it perfectly. Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It's having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome.

And that's exactly why people struggle to commit to relationships, but not mortgages. A mortgage is predictable. You sign the papers, make the payments, barring disaster, losing a job, etcetera, etcetera, you own the home. Well, kind of. We talked about that in episode two.

So go back to that one if you wanna have a listen. A relationship is uncertain. There's no contract guaranteeing love will last, no fixed interest rate on loyalty and no security deposit against heartbreak. So love is vulnerable. It requires showing up without guarantees and that's terrifying for most people.

It's terrifying for me at times. So why most vulnerability feels riskier than a thirty year debt according to Brene Brown is vulnerability is the birthplace of love, connection and trust. But it's also where rejection, shame and heartbreak live. And that's why people avoid it at all costs. A mortgage won't reject you, but a person might.

A car loan won't ghost you, but a partner could. And a house won't outgrow you. Well, sometimes it might if you have a big family, but love sometimes fades. So what do people do? They choose security over emotional exposure.

They convince themselves that they're not ready, too busy, when the reality is they're just scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of being hurt, scared of giving without guarantees because you don't know what tomorrow holds, you don't know the future. And the real flex is choosing vulnerability anyway. So Brene Brown says, to love is vulnerable, to put ourselves out there knowing we could be hurt, but doing it anyway. So the next time someone tells you they just can't commit, remember this, they're not afraid of commitment itself.

They're afraid of what real commitment requires, vulnerability. And maybe also honesty and transparency. But at the end of the day, a mortgage might give you a house, but love that gives you a home because home is where the heart is. Okay. Jumping into trading, men versus women, this is something I've talked at ends about on X previously known as Twitter.

So believe it or not, training and relationships have a lot in common. They both require patience, strategy, risk management, and discipline. So men and women approach them differently, very differently. Men in trading, they do high risk, high high reward mentality. Men are more likely to chase volatile trades, Think hundred times leverage seeking quick dopamine hits from wins.

Overconfidence buyers, they may trade emotionally thinking they can outsmart the market. Commitment to trade is conditional. If it's not giving instant results, they jump ship, struggle with patience, and they often want the thrill of winning rather than slow steady gains. So, let's look at women in trading. So, they're more risk averse, calculated, women tend to hold positions longer, they focus on sustainable gains rather than quick wins.

They're less emotional about decision making and studies show women are less likely to overtrade or revenge trade. Better risk management, and they often use stop losses and position sizing effectively. So they commit to the process. Women tend to be more disciplined sticking to a trading plan, even in downturn. So who wins?

Women statistically outperform men in investing and training because they commit to a strategy over emotion. The same can be said for relationships. When women commit, they're often thinking long term stability, safety, security, whereas men chase short term excitement that dopamine hit. So relationship needs for men versus women. So most men are simpler than they seem.

While individual needs vary, the core desires of most men in relationships include respect and admiration, freedom and autonomy, emotional safety, and sex and physical intimacy. So these are not just about sort of pleasure, society paints men as being tough and strong where most of them have a softer side. They're kind of like that crispy marshmallow where, you know, there's a soft center. Women and they want a woman who believes in him. Men thrive when they feel supported in their ambitions.

So what women need in a relationship, women tend to see deep deeper emotional and psychological connection. Their core needs include consistency and security, emotional connection, feeling prioritized. That's a big one for me. Clear communication, trust and loyalty. So nothing kills a woman's love faster than inconsistency and that lack of congruency.

That's where words meet actions. So who struggles with commitment more? So if a man's needs for respect, freedom, support aren't met, he pulls away. And if a woman's needs for security, emotional connection, and trust aren't met, she just checks out emotionally. So most relationships fail because these needs aren't understood, let alone met.

And that's the differences between men and women. So the Scarface Paradox is why commitment follows money and power. So in Scarface, Tony Montana lays out his infamous philosophy. First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. It's brutal, but often true reflection of how many men approach this life, like of success, relationships, and money, and the power that creates a status, and then that attracts the women.

So but here's the paradox, the very pursuit of money and power that attracts women often makes real emotional commitment impossible. That means that that person's tied to you for the money. So men who focus solely on success often struggle with trust that someone loves them for who they are, not for what they have. They see relationships as a byproduct of success, not the foundation of it. So the irony, the more successful can't talk today.

The more successful they become, the harder it is to form genuine emotional connections. About love. So let's break that down. This statement is not just about stereotypes, but how men and women are wired differently when it comes to emotional investment. While both genders care about love and money, they process them in fundamentally different ways.

Why men are emotionally connected to money? Well, for most men, money isn't just about currency, it's about identity status and survival. So money equals power. And in many societies, a man's worth is judged by whether he can provide rather than who he is emotionally. So losing money feels like losing control.

So for a man, financial failure is often internalized as personal failure. Money dictates confidence. A broke man often struggles with self esteem, not because he doesn't want love, but because he doesn't feel worthy of it. So the parable of a poor man and the rich man. So a poor man once asked a wise elder, why do the rich seem more confident while the poor doubt themselves?

The elder replied, because a man with money walks into a room believing he belongs. A man without money walks in hoping no one notices. So this speaks to why money is deeply tied to a man's emotions and not just about having wealth, it's about how money shapes his internal identity. So why are women emotional about love? So for a woman, love is not just romance, it's security, emotional fulfillment and connection.

Love equals safety. So women are biologically wired to seek emotional stability as relationships have historically played a crucial role in their survival and well-being. Losing love feels like losing themselves. A woman can have financial success, but if she doesn't feel emotionally cherished, she often feels like something is missing. So love dictates confidence.

A woman in a loving supportive relationship feels emotionally strong, while a woman in an unstable relationship can feel lost no matter how successful she is. Because I love intertwining fairy tales and parables. Here's the parable of the woman and the empty house. So a woman once had a beautiful house, big windows, fine furniture, endless luxury, yet every night she sat alone at the dinner table feeling an emptiness she couldn't explain. One day, she met a man who didn't own a mansion, but when he spoke to her, she felt seen, heard, and valued.

And suddenly, her grand house didn't matter because love that had filled the space, no money ever could. And that's the difference. This is why women are deeply emotional about love. And it's not about needing a man. It's about craving the kind of connection that makes life meaningful.

What is the emotional trade off and why do men often misunderstand women in this connection? So what's the disconnect? So men think financial success will bring them love. Women think love will happen regardless of financial success. She's willing to love the broke guy.

Not all women are gold diggers. And that's why men will delay relationships to focus on money and why women will invest in love even when circumstances aren't perfect. So a quote that sums it up, a man's greatest fear is failure and a woman's greatest fear is abandonment. And this is why men hesitate to commit when they don't feel financially stable and why women feel deeply hurt when they don't feel emotionally secure. A man with money but no love feels empty.

A woman with love but no security feels unsafe. True balance comes when both understand the emotional weight of what the other values most. Most men, not all, think commitment isn't about control. It's not about connection. And until people understand the emotional cost of avoiding vulnerability, they'll continue committing to houses, careers, and financial goals, but never to real love.

So commitment in love is harder than commitment in mortgage because love is a verb, it requires action. So unlike financial contract where the terms are set in stone, you sign that off. Love demands ongoing effort, emotional investment and vulnerability. A mortgage doesn't require daily effort, but love, it needs consistent nurturing. It's not just something you win once and then you forget about it, it's a choice that you make every single day.

So love requires showing up even when it's inconvenient, choosing a partner even when the excitement fades, putting the effort in even when you don't feel like it. So communicating even when it's hard, trying not to argue, I know that's a hard point for me, staying emotionally available even when vulnerability feels like a risk. So, in my relationships, I've grappled with explaining what I needed and I've often argued and been really upset about lack of effort. So, what is effort in love? Effort in love, not just to me, but to many people isn't about grand once in a lifetime gestures.

It's about consistency, intentional actions that show your partner you're valued, appreciated, and prioritized. Effort means actively listening instead of just waiting to speak. Remembering the little things that matter to tell your partner and showing up emotionally even when life is busy and stressful. It's a text in the middle of the day, just to check-in the thoughtful gestures that say, I see you, and the willingness to work through conflict rather than avoid it. Effort and love means making space for your partner's needs, supporting their dreams and continuously choosing them.

Not just when it's easy, but especially when it's not. Love thrives on effort and when effort stops, love slowly fades. Not because the feelings are there. A lot of the times the feelings are there, but because love without action is just a concept. It's not a reality.

So love is not a passive feeling. It's not just attraction or chemistry or grand gestures. The small consistent actions proving someone is truly committed. At the end of the day, signing a mortgage is easy. You just need a stable income and a signature, but building a lasting relationship that takes emotional resilience, trust, and the willingness to do the work every day without guarantees.

And love is a choice. Commitment is an action and effort. Well, that's what keeps it alive. Whether in relationship success or personal growth, you get what you invest in and that's how you make it thrive. So back to trading.

Are you trading love and the risk of real commitment? At its core, trading and love both require strategy, patience and the willing to take risks. A good trader knows that emotional decisions lead to bad trades, just like emotional insecurity can sabotage relationships. You can't time the market perfectly, just like you can't always predict where love will go. But the best investors understand that long term commitment beats short term impulsiveness.

Love like trading isn't about chasing highs, it's about playing the long game, sticking to this strategy and being willing to invest even when things get tough. The real question is, are you in it for the quick wins or are you committed to the real growth? So are you choosing love the way you are choosing security or are you playing it safe avoiding the real work that makes love last? Something to think about is ask yourself, are you willing to commit to love the way that you were willing to commit to financial stability? Because true love isn't about finding the perfect person.

Often, it's about becoming a better person. It's about continuously choosing the one love, the one you love, through every season of life. So what do you think? Is commitment really harder in love than it is in money? Let's continue the conversation.

All my social media links are below, and I'd love to hear from you. This is Uncharted, and I hope you loved this episode. I'm fascinated about the differences between love and trading and how it affects both men and women differently. So if you'd like to check out some more trading stuff, head to getting started in crypto.com. And if you wanna know more about what I do, head to lisaandedwards.com.

Thanks for listening. I'll check you out next week.