WHAT YOU ARE NOT CHANGING, YOU ARE CHOOSING

🎙️ UNCHARTED EPISODE 13
WHAT YOU ARE NOT CHANGING, YOU ARE CHOOSING

This one’s personal.

This episode started as a conversation with myself and my psychotherapist. A sentence that wouldn’t leave me alone:

What you are not changing, you are choosing.

I didn’t plan for this podcast to go here when I started it. It was meant to be about trading, business, maybe a few behind-the-scenes truths. But life had other plans. Because what I realised is that the most dangerous charts aren’t the ones we trade,  they’re the ones we ignore inside ourselves.

This episode is about the patterns you keep repeating. The relationships, routines, roles, expectations… all the things that quietly chip away at you while you convince yourself “it’s not that bad.”

But here’s the thing: not speaking is still a choice. Staying still is still a direction. Tolerating something that drains you is still an answer. Maybe not a loud one. But loud isn't always honest.

And that’s where this starts. With brutal honesty. With shadow work. With facing the stuff I didn’t want to admit. Things like:

• I let people treat me in ways I’d never accept now
• I stayed too long in things because I wanted to be chosen
• I played small in my own business so someone else could feel big
• I thought being loved would heal me
• I gave more than I had and then blamed them for not noticing I was empty

And I talk about all of that. Not because it’s easy. But because hiding it isn’t helping anyone.

I walk you through the moment it all cracked. A Bitcoin miner gifted to me last Christmas made me realise, even after all these years, people still see the surface, not the person. They don’t know the woman who rebuilt after everything fell apart. The one who paid back what others lost. The one who kept going when no one clapped. The one who cried through trades and still showed up.

I’ve done the work. Therapy. Shadow work. Boundary setting. Ancestry research that connected me to power, but also showed me the silence I was raised in. That silence stops here.

We talk:

• Emotional survival and how it becomes your identity
• Self-leadership and learning to let go of what you wanted them to be
• The cost of staying in things that look good on paper but feel like slow death
• And the moment you decide — not just hope — that it’s time to live differently

And yes, I talk about love. The kind that entered during lockdown. The kind that felt like fate. And how it turned into something that made me question my worth. Because I believed the words — and ignored the behaviour. I thought being seen was the same as being valued. It’s not.

So if you’re here, listening, and thinking, “I’m not sure if I’m choosing this or just stuck in it” then this is the episode for you.

Because sometimes, change doesn’t come from a clear plan. It comes from reaching a point where you simply can’t do it like this anymore.

And that’s where power lives. In the choosing. In the pause. In the messy middle before it all clicks.

So let’s talk about it. Let’s unpack what you’re still choosing and why. And let’s start shifting.

Because future you? She’s watching. She’s not asking you to hustle or perform. She’s just waiting for you to back yourself like you’ve backed everyone else.

Thi

FIND LISA N EDWARDS & MORE:
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/LisaNEdwards
Lisa's Website: https://lisanedwards.com/
Getting Started In Crypto: https://gettingstartedincrypto.com/paid-signals/ref/2001/?campaign=Podcast

Transcript

0:00

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Uncharted Podcast, episode 13. What You Are Not Changing, you Are Choosing. And if you've been with me since the beginning, you already know this podcast was born from an urge. I didn't fully know what it would be. I just knew I had to start. At first I thought. Maybe it'd be about business, maybe trading tips. And yes, the name Uncharted came from a cheeky nod to my life as a crypto trader, always on the charts, always surfing the waves. What this space is becoming is something so much more. It's becoming a place that I can finally speak to you all about the uncharted territories that I'm interested within. The spaces we don't map, the patterns we repeat and the choices we don't even realize we're making. So for me, this all started last Christmas when I received a gift that made me pause and sort of step back and go, no one really knows me. Not because of what it was but because what it revealed. A Bitcoin miner was the gift. And I remember thinking really, really after everything, that's what people think I want. I went to X and I asked, or Twitter, and I asked. What they thought I wanted and I discovered nobody really knows me. The real me, the person behind the charts and what makes my heart sing. I've been in this industry since the beginning, and when I say beginning, I mean proper OG days and after everything. That's a takeaway. That's what people think I want or I need. So let's be clear. I've made money. I've lost money. I've rebuilt everything while crying years ago, and I paid back what disappeared from a Discord community, even though I wasn't the one who lost it. But I took responsibility because someone had to, and that's how I know the thousand to millions.com strategy works. I've used it not just to rebuild wealth, but to rebuild integrity and to rebuild myself. And that's what brings me to today's truth bomb. What you are not changing, you are choosing. Say that again. What you are not changing, you are choosing. So that hit me right in the heart in therapy when I learned all of that. That I am choosing the things that are in my life. I'm choosing the people, I'm choosing the places. And real change doesn't start in your bank account or your followers list or your relationship status. It starts inside, inside the relationship you have with yourself. And that's why I wrote Become a Millionaire in one Year, that book. It was just a transformation for me because until you fix a part of you that keeps choosing what hurts, what betrays and what doesn't serve, you'll keep repeating it. And at the first third of that book, it's not about money, it's about transformation. It's about the patterns we carry into everything. Especially our wallets from core wounds and the stories we tell ourselves. So while writing Coin Runners movie.com wasn't just storytelling, it was transmutation, it was therapy disguised as screenwriting. And somewhere between rewriting scenes and revisiting my past, something in me opened and it made me want to love again. So during the stillness of COVID, someone entered my life and reminded me how easy it is to get caught up in words, especially in isolation. But what I've learned that love. Isn't just what you say, it's what you choose consistently. And for a while I thought love might heal old wounds. I thought being seen might be enough, but healing doesn't come from being loved. It comes from doing the work. And I was deep in that therapy boundaries, accountability, learning how to show up differently. But not everyone is ready for that. And sometimes even when people mean well, their pain spills, it still spills. And if you're not careful, it'll drown you. So there were moments in that chapter of my life where I felt invisible. I felt that I was just holding everything together with duct tape and deep breaths. And when external pressure mounted, whether it was online noise, business stress, or personal doubts, I learned very quickly how very fragile everything becomes when your identity is wrapped in something outside of yourself. So I had to choose again. Choose to heal, choose to step back. And this isn't about blame or accusations. It's my lived experience shared to heal and connect, and to remind anyone walking a similar path that they're not alone. If even one person hears this and sees their own pattern more clearly, then this podcast is worth it. This isn't about anyone else. This is about me. And maybe. You'll see some of you in it too, because years ago someone told me I'd end up alone. Like that was the worst thing that could happen to me. But you know what? Alone is peaceful. Alone is powerful. And alone is where I'm finding myself again. So let's talk about that today. The patterns we keep living, the things we keep choosing, and the parts of us still waiting for someone else to do the work, for someone to rescue us because spoil alert, they won't and they're not supposed to. So let's get uncharted. I'm looking for a woman in finance. Crypto, five four, amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance with crypto. Five, four, amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. Crypto, five four, amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. Crypto, five four, amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. Crypto, five, four. Amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. We could fight for amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. with crypto. Five, four, amber eyes. I'm looking for a woman in finance. with crypto. Five, four, amber eyes. UNCHARTED Let's go. I'm gonna start by defining the concept of what you were not changing, you were choosing. Let's start with the hard truth. Most people avoid, inaction is not neutral. It's a decision every time. You don't speak up, every time you let that text go unanswered. Every time you let the business slip, the health slide, the gut feeling pass, you are still choosing the current state and that choice, it has consequences. We often imagine choices as big, bold, dramatic things like ending a relationship, quitting a job, moving countries, starting a business. But the most life defining choices are often the ones we make silently, the ones we make by not making any. So think of this, you're in the car, you're not driving, but maybe you've taken your hands off the wheel. You are not actively turning left or right, but the engine's still running. The car's still moving. So you're not stopped. You're just letting something else drive and whatever direction that takes you, you're in the driver's seat and you are still responsible for it. Now, apply that to your life. If you're still in a relationship that drains you and you're not shifting the dynamic or setting a boundary, getting therapy, you are choosing it. If you're still in a financial stress, but ignoring the budget, not learning, not asking for help, you are choosing it if you're still repeating the same emotional reactions, staying quiet when you want to, screaming or exploding when you want to connect, you're choosing it not consciously, not always with malice, but passively. Through pattern and protection, and here's the uncomfortable truth. Most of the time we are not choosing the thing itself. We are choosing what is familiar. We are choosing what does not ask us to stretch or grow. What lets us avoid the fear of the unknown, even if the unknown is hurting us this is not about blame, it's about awareness. It's about. Calling back all of your power and admitting I may not have chosen this on purpose, but if I don't change it now, I'm choosing this now. So once you see that for what it really is, you can't unsee it. And from there, everything is going to start to shift for you. Let's look at the psychological insights, meeting your shadow before it makes a choices for you. If this first step is realizing you're choosing through inaction, the second step is asking why you are doing it. This is where Carl Jung's work on the shadow self becomes gold. The shadow is every part of you that you've disowned, repressed, or denied your anger, your jealousy, your insecurity, your craving for control, your need to be chosen, your fear of abandonment, and all the parts you didn't. Feel acceptable. So you buried them. But buried doesn't mean they're gone. It means they're hidden. And that's what Hidden still acts like. The shadow runs in the background, like a script. And you didn't write that because it just keeps playing out in the background. When you sabotage the relationship that's actually healthy, it whispers you into staying in a situation that hurts you because you think it's all you deserve. It's the part that says, this is how I am. When you know deep down it's not really who you are, the shadow cannot exist in the light. So it does everything it can to drag you back into the dark, into the silence, into the shame, into familiar patterns where it can keep running the show unchallenged. If you don't examine your shadow, it's going to make the choices for you. You'll keep repeating the same cycles and calling them fate. You'll blame others while your unhealed patterns are steering the wheel. This is not about turning on yourself or pathologizing the pain. It's about taking responsibility for what you've internalized, that you never belong to you in the first place. It's about reclaiming authorship over your story instead of being a passive character in it. So bringing your shadow into the light is not a one time thing. It's an ongoing process, but every time you do it, you take back power from the part of you that was trying to protect you through dysfunction. And from that place, you can finally choose something different, not because you're performing a better version of yourself, but because you are no longer scared of the parts you used to run from. Real change begins when you stop waiting for the light to show up and start getting curious about the dark. So let's look at real life applications from passive survival to active self-leadership. This is where everything starts to make sense and it all sort of joins in because it's one thing to understand the theory, it's another to see how it plays out in real lives. And I wanna be honest here, most change doesn't come from clarity. It comes from breaking point. It's a woman who stayed in a relationship too long because she thought loyalty was love until one day she looked at herself in the mirror and realized she didn't recognize who she was anymore. That moment didn't give her all the answers, but it gave her one decision this can't go on, and that was enough to shift her from being waiting in the background in the shadows to walking away. Because if that person's not choosing her and he's not changing, like literally she has to do that. She has to choose her and she has to be the change. And what about the business owner that kept saying, I'm too tired to restructure while everything leaked? Money, energy, and meaning until. The next time they got a tax bill that they couldn't pay, that they had to face, what they'd been avoiding, that pain became the pivot, and they started again with intention, not just desperation or the trader that repeated the same losses again and again because their self-worth was tied to winning. Every red candle felt personal until they realized the real problem wasn't the chart. It was their unresolved pattern of needing to prove they were good enough. Once they separated their identity from the outcome, their whole approach changed. They stopped gambling and started mastering trading. I've seen it so many times, and again, I will mention that is why become a millionaire was written and I'll bring it back to myself. For years, I stayed in situations where I felt unseen in business, in love, and I tolerated behaviors. I stayed in a 15 year marriage that ended at about five years, and I never deserved any of that because I didn't wanna be too much or too emotional or too hard. I just wanted to be the nice girl, the kind girl. But it wasn't until I realized that playing small was a choice. One I had made again and again that I stopped blaming everyone else for, and now I've taken the reins. The shift is never instant, but it's always obvious and it begins when you stop accepting what you don't deserve and what doesn't serve, and start choosing what does, even when it's hard, even when it's lonely, even when it makes you question everything. Even when everyone leaves your life, and I'm putting those questions out there now. So I've been alone now for nearly eight months working through trauma, sitting in the pain of all of that, facing my shadow and the patterns that once felt like protection because now I'm choosing change. And the real change only happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the fear of doing something different. So step into that fear, the fear of abandonment, the fear of being unloved, the fear of looking stupid for being alone once again. Because like I said, that's not the worst thing that can happen. That moment when the familiar starts to feel unbearable. When you realize that holding it all together is costing you more than letting it all fall apart, ever could, that is when that shift begins. Not because you suddenly feel ready, but because you can't do it anymore. And the moment you do something incredible happens, your purpose gets clearer, your energy returns, and the same world feels different because you are different and you start leading yourself. And that changes everything. So now let's jump into the practical steps of how to stop choosing what hurts and start choosing what matters. By now, we've pulled back the curtain, we've exposed that inaction is still a choice. We've looked at the shadow parts that keep pulling the strings behind the scenes, and we've explored what happens when someone finally decides. To do something different, but now it's your turn. So how do you actually begin? How do you move from passive acceptance into intentional self-led change? I'll break it down in five points because here's where you start croaky voice, sorry. Identify what you're tolerating. Make a brutal, honest list. What you are putting up with that drains you, dismisses you, distracts you from what you're meant to be. Is that a relationship with no reciprocation a business you are constantly rescuing, but never feel fulfilled in a daily routine that numbs you rather than nourishes you. If it makes you shrink, it's not aligned, call it out. Two, ask yourself what payoff you're getting. Yes, it hurts, but pain isn't always enough to make a stop. So ask, what do I get from staying the same? Familiarity, validation, avoiding conflict. The truth is we rarely stay stuck without a reason, but once you name the reason you take away its power. Three, shift the outcome OBSession to pattern interruption. You don't know how it ends. Nobody knows how it ends. You just have to stop repeating what no longer serves you. Instead of waiting for the perfect plan. Take the first HONEST step. That might mean setting a boundary, making a new decision with money. Saying No without guilt or walking away from something that used to define you. Change begins the moment you interrupt the pattern. Even if your voice shakes, even if it's terrifying, FOUR give yourself a mirror moment each morning. Ask yourself, what am I choosing today? By not changing it, then ask, what would the future version of me do instead? We've become the person we want to be. By aligning with the actions of future you not waiting to feel like them. By aligning alignment is what puts you into your purpose. It what puts you into the future that you want to have. So what is future you choosing today? And make those choices. Five. Track progress emotionally, not just externally. So don't just track money. Followers, kilos wins. Track how you feel showing up for yourself. This is what this podcast is all about. So if I only get 50 people listening to it, or I get a hundred, or I get one, I'm proud, I've done it. I feel peaceful, I feel more honest. So ask yourself those questions. Do you feel proud? Do you feel peaceful? Are you feeling more honest? And that's your return on investment. And that investment is in yourself. And that's what builds unshakeable self-trust. Because without self-trust, you cannot trust anyone else. You are not stuck. You are just scared. And fear is allowed to be in the car, but it does not get to drive. Think of that again. You're driving that car. Put fear in the passenger seat, put scared in the passenger seat. You are driving, you are making the choices because what you are choosing can change you. And you can't change them, only you. So remember that. Stop fixing, start choosing yourself now. This next segment cuts deep. Because most of us aren't stuck on the situation. We are stuck in the potential of what we saw in someone, the version of them. That could be amazing. The partner they were at the beginning, the business partner you thought they'd grow into, the friend you keep giving chances to because of the shared history, not the reality of who they are now. But here's the truth, you can't change anyone else except for yourself. You can't change another person with love. You can't change them with logic, not with patience, and not with ultimatums, not with silence, and definitely not with your suffering because change is a solo journey. They need to do it, and sometimes it takes putting on your walking shoes, and if they are not choosing to grow. Not choosing to show up and not choosing to do the work that is their choice and accept that choice. No amount of your energy will ever make them evolve if they don't want to. So if you're still choosing the version of them that isn't evolving, then the work is no longer about them. It's on you. Be honest. That's where your power lives in choosing yourself. Not in a dramatic angry, cut them off kind of way, but in a calm, but in a calm, certain solo lined way that says, I'm not going to fight to be chosen anymore. I choose me. I choose myself. Because when you do that, you stop leading from expectation and you lead by example. You shift from rescuing to respecting. You stop trying to control the outcome and start trusting your inner compass. And yes, it hurts. Yes, you'll miss them. Yes, your mind will begin to bargain and spiral, and to convince you that going back is what's comfortable, and that's what your mind wants to do. But I promise you, choosing yourself is never the wrong choice. It is the beginning of everything you're trying to manifest because when you stop trying to change them, you finally give your permission to become you. And this brings us to the end of Uncharted episode 13. What you are not changing, you are choosing. So here's where we see the path ahead. Real change isn't a vibe, it's not a vision board. It's not morning affirmations. If you're still betraying yourself by lunchtime, affirmations don't work. If the voice in your head is still screaming, you can't that voice give it a name. I call my Nikki, so she's the lead character in my can't fight fate books. She's the one who tells me I'm too much. That I'll fail and that people will leave. She tells the story that I'm too afraid to tell the world. She sounds convincing because she was built for survival. But survival isn't the goal anymore. Alignment is, and now I call out Nikki I'm doing just that in my fourth book. You are not him. I get to question her, ask her what she thinks and what she thinks that and say. And thanks for trying to protect me, but I'm not doing small anymore. I'm not doing fear. I'm not doing self portrayal. I'm not doing any of that. And I tell her, not today, Nikki. I have things to do. So when those voices in my head get too loud, I just tell them, not today, Nikki. I have things to do, a business to rebuild and. Awesome reels for my socials and this podcast, so I have so much stuff to do. And real change takes accountability and radical honesty. It takes walking into the therapy room and finally saying the things you'd never said out loud, the thing that happened when you were six or seven, the way you've been performing. Strength to avoid feeling weak. The pattern you inherited from your parents that has been shaping your choices for decades. It's breaking generational trauma, and this is something that really hit home. Since I've been doing my ancestry and finding kings and queens and vikings in my bloodline, it made me realize that I come from power, from survival and from legacy, but also from centuries of silence, repression, and emotional shutdown. I wasn't just carrying my own pain. I was carrying theirs too. And the work I'm doing now just isn't about healing myself. It's about ending cycles, ending that generational pain that has echoed through our bloodlines for generations. It's about becoming the queen who breaks what needed to be broken and rebuilds something stronger in its place. And I know this not just because I've read the books and studied the frameworks, but because I'm doing the work and I've done a lot of work, I've sat in therapy and unpacked my childhood trauma, the kind that doesn't just leave scars. It rewires you for survival, and I don't wanna go into it here because it was really traumatic and I survived. I'm still here. And I have so much inside me to give. And I've looked at that little girl in me who kept trying to earn love by fixing everyone else's problems. And I've faced a woman who built businesses while silently bleeding and giving everything away to ex-partners. And I've called out the parts of me that tolerated crumbs just to avoid being alone. I've done the shadow work, parts work, somatic healing, journaling, inner child healing attachment. I've written letters I'll never send cried over truth I didn't want to admit and let go of versions of myself. I once the thought were permanent. And still the work continues because the shadow doesn't leave overnight. It shows up quietly in how you respond and what you excuse and what you tolerate. And here's what I've learned. You cannot heal what you won't face. You cannot blame your way to freedom, and no one is coming to save you from the parts of yourself you keep avoiding. This episode is not about judgment. It's about invitation. And as I've written this, a song has started playing. One I didn't choose, but maybe it chose me. We don't talk about it by Thelma Plum and that line hits like truth. Being sung through the bones of every woman I've ever known so the lyrics say. It doesn't make it better that I went first. We don't talk about it. If it happened to me, it will happen to her. What the girls went through, they just didn't deserve, and that's really powerful. That's the universe tapping me on the shoulder, mid-sentence, mid transmission, saying this is bigger than just your story. It's lineage, it's legacy, it's generational. It's the collective silence and I'm the one cracking it open. And in that moment I knew this isn't just an episode, this is a call to speak about what's being silenced, to name what's being normalized, to break the echo. Because when we don't talk about it, we repeat it. And when we don't talk about it, we hand it to the next girl. And she carries it like it was hers to hold. So maybe this is your permission slip to talk about it, write about it, rage about it, release it, because real change doesn't start with answers. It starts with truth. And sometimes the truth hurts so much that you are blocked from speaking it. And sometimes the most radical truth is saying, this happened and it wasn't mine to carry. Stop saying you want to change while feeding the version of you who fears it. Stop confusing loyalty with self abandonment and stop trying to control others instead of mastering yourself and ask yourself this. What parts of you are keeping you in rooms, relationships and routines that are shrinking your potential? Because once you recognize what you are not changing, you are choosing. You reclaim your power. You can't change them, but you can choose you and that choice, that's where everything begins. So ask yourself today. What am I choosing through my silence, tolerance, or delay? And what would the future version of me choose instead? Current. You should always be working hard for future you, because the truth is current. You should always be working hard for the future. You not for a hustle, not from fear. But from devotion, because your future self is not just waiting. She's watching. She's hoping you'll finally back yourself in the way you've backed everyone else. So choose her. She's worth it. This has been uncharted, and as always, my links are below. Come and find me. I'd love to connect with you until next week. I'm looking for a woman in finance. crypto five four amber eyes. And judge it. Let's go.